Monday, June 19, 2006

sob sob.. dunno what to say lah.. i was surfing across the blogskin for new skins and i didn't know that this previous blogskin was nowhere to be found.. sob.. cannot find back my old blogskin le.. man.. i am so sad.. T_T

yay.. todae i got back my video card .. it was veri sian without my video card.. cannot even do anything.. it was plain argh!!! thus to prevent more agony i decided to borrow a spare graphic card from my friend and i am glad i did so .. it was simply good enug.. XD Finally the holiday is coming , actually today can be considered the holiday le.. but holiday so many homework.. man i am going to faint this instance.. oh man.. what's a holiday with all this load of work.. i do hope that the 6 weeks holis will come sooner.. i wanna earn my money and buy some sleek looking hardware.. i guess it is every designer dream to haf a com that is extremely powerful to do work with ease..

Poem:Slight agony~

a trip from a chair makes u worry
a slight bump makes u scared
a headache makes u jumpy
a cry makes ur heart melts
a person that can do all this
is the person u care the most

Well , i dun tink anyone know what i am doing recently cause i tink i have been avoiding contacts from plp but slowly i trying to abandon my old shell.. i hate being that way when my heart think another way... it's my old self.. my patetic old me.. i am one who always promises plp to go some outing yet i didn't turn up the very last minute.. if this just happen to me just once i might tink i am normally and alrite..

but this isn't the first time i stood plp up.. even very serious cases i nearly foiled the thing..sometimes i reali think if i am myself.. when i woek up usually i will do the usually routine but am i reali believing what i am doing is the real thing? i haf no idea

From Changi to Home

this is abit about my sis.. well , to tell u the truth .. my sis was caught 6 months ago for taking drugs.. at first she didn't tell us.. i didn't even know anything about it.. until one day i saw my parent quarrelling over my sis about some issues.. i overheard is about police thingy.. i was sad at the same time i felt that my sis deserved what she got.. even if she can away from this , i still dun treat her very much like my sis.. from years ago , my sis and i have always been quarrelling about everything.. somewhat i have developed a bad image of her.. she smoke and drink no wonder she got caught for drug taking..

straight after that she was taken to the police , i felt different..
suddenly there was a lost of competition over the things i want to use.. like computer etc etc...
During her stay in the rehab centre , i didn't even take a day to visit her.. i know it was wrong of me.. i have no idea why i hate her so much also.. mabbe it was not my fault that i hate her also.. today , she come back home le.. was shock at first.. didn't know what to say to her but soon after i realised the big change in her.. she become more happy and often break into conversation with my parents.. thank god she is not what she was last time le.. i tink she have decided to change completely le.. anyway , i become more forgiving le.. last time if i told her what time i want to use computer she will scold me and tell me to go away and i will end up picking a fight with her.. but now even if she over the limit by one hour i didn't even say anything at all.. well , time reali do change a human after all..
mabbe i should change myself too..
well , mabbe , i should....

Actually I didn't want to post this blog .. haha but i got nothing to do any way so i intended to blog..
Well , holidays can mean a bad or good thing for most plp... but for me it is a crossroad once again.. i wanted to earn some extra cash to fund my nid for outing and such.. but .. i somehow dun haf the feeling to work.. not sure whether i am dumb or stupid but i dun wanna work.. guess i got a repellent feelings towards working life..
But den again , i feel i haf make my parents work harder than b4.. that's saddening.. cause i usually play games late into the nite..and sometimes the whole day.. imagine the electricity i haf wasted.. and yet i didn't work to help them relieve their pain.. what kind of a son am i?

Definitely relationship thingy haf ended when it didn't even started.. i am not hoping much.. just a slight feel that she cares and that will be okay and comforting enug for me le.. cold... i feel veri cold in her presence.. on purpose or not is not meant for me to say.. actually to say, i owe her an apology.. i should haf tell her my feeling for her instead of telling the whole class.. it make her embarrassed and it's true that all her frenz know instead of her.. something that she nid to know but she didn't hear it from me..
i sincerely apologised to her right now in this blog . If u haf been looking at my blog , i am sori . Hope u can accept my apology..

Well , holis is a fun way to relax but i tink i am relaxing too much.. must start the mini project soon with our class games focus plp haha..

March 22 , Moonlight
Age haf definitely catch up with me... Half sick half dead.. Battling the body of myself.. I finally know the meaning of my true self.. Every thing on earth seems to go haywire.. Must be the reason behind my sickness.. My world is turned upside down the moment sp left me.. alone.
My com started to lag and everything seems to go out of my way.. nothing is useful.. no one.. not even myself.. Things doesn't feel rite for me.. It seems that my body haf overtaken myself to do the things i dun ever want to..
Wthin myself , i feel weak.. i am nothing but an empty shell...