Truth will always be truth , No doubt about it.

ARGH !!! I MESS UP MY BLOG

2006-06-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

sob sob.. dunno what to say lah.. i was surfing across the blogskin for new skins and i didn't know that this previous blogskin was nowhere to be found.. sob.. cannot find back my old blogskin le.. man.. i am so sad.. T_T

2006-06-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

yay.. todae i got back my video card .. it was veri sian without my video card.. cannot even do anything.. it was plain argh!!! thus to prevent more agony i decided to borrow a spare graphic card from my friend and i am glad i did so .. it was simply good enug.. XD Finally the holiday is coming , actually today can be considered the holiday le.. but holiday so many homework.. man i am going to faint this instance.. oh man.. what's a holiday with all this load of work.. i do hope that the 6 weeks holis will come sooner.. i wanna earn my money and buy some sleek looking hardware.. i guess it is every designer dream to haf a com that is extremely powerful to do work with ease..

2006-05-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

Poem:Slight agony~

a trip from a chair makes u worry
a slight bump makes u scared
a headache makes u jumpy
a cry makes ur heart melts
a person that can do all this
is the person u care the most

Elder sis comes home..

2006-04-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

Well , i dun tink anyone know what i am doing recently cause i tink i have been avoiding contacts from plp but slowly i trying to abandon my old shell.. i hate being that way when my heart think another way... it's my old self.. my patetic old me.. i am one who always promises plp to go some outing yet i didn't turn up the very last minute.. if this just happen to me just once i might tink i am normally and alrite..

but this isn't the first time i stood plp up.. even very serious cases i nearly foiled the thing..sometimes i reali think if i am myself.. when i woek up usually i will do the usually routine but am i reali believing what i am doing is the real thing? i haf no idea

From Changi to Home

this is abit about my sis.. well , to tell u the truth .. my sis was caught 6 months ago for taking drugs.. at first she didn't tell us.. i didn't even know anything about it.. until one day i saw my parent quarrelling over my sis about some issues.. i overheard is about police thingy.. i was sad at the same time i felt that my sis deserved what she got.. even if she can away from this , i still dun treat her very much like my sis.. from years ago , my sis and i have always been quarrelling about everything.. somewhat i have developed a bad image of her.. she smoke and drink no wonder she got caught for drug taking..

straight after that she was taken to the police , i felt different..
suddenly there was a lost of competition over the things i want to use.. like computer etc etc...
During her stay in the rehab centre , i didn't even take a day to visit her.. i know it was wrong of me.. i have no idea why i hate her so much also.. mabbe it was not my fault that i hate her also.. today , she come back home le.. was shock at first.. didn't know what to say to her but soon after i realised the big change in her.. she become more happy and often break into conversation with my parents.. thank god she is not what she was last time le.. i tink she have decided to change completely le.. anyway , i become more forgiving le.. last time if i told her what time i want to use computer she will scold me and tell me to go away and i will end up picking a fight with her.. but now even if she over the limit by one hour i didn't even say anything at all.. well , time reali do change a human after all..
mabbe i should change myself too..
well , mabbe , i should....

2006-03-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

Actually I didn't want to post this blog .. haha but i got nothing to do any way so i intended to blog..
Well , holidays can mean a bad or good thing for most plp... but for me it is a crossroad once again.. i wanted to earn some extra cash to fund my nid for outing and such.. but .. i somehow dun haf the feeling to work.. not sure whether i am dumb or stupid but i dun wanna work.. guess i got a repellent feelings towards working life..
But den again , i feel i haf make my parents work harder than b4.. that's saddening.. cause i usually play games late into the nite..and sometimes the whole day.. imagine the electricity i haf wasted.. and yet i didn't work to help them relieve their pain.. what kind of a son am i?

Definitely relationship thingy haf ended when it didn't even started.. i am not hoping much.. just a slight feel that she cares and that will be okay and comforting enug for me le.. cold... i feel veri cold in her presence.. on purpose or not is not meant for me to say.. actually to say, i owe her an apology.. i should haf tell her my feeling for her instead of telling the whole class.. it make her embarrassed and it's true that all her frenz know instead of her.. something that she nid to know but she didn't hear it from me..
i sincerely apologised to her right now in this blog . If u haf been looking at my blog , i am sori . Hope u can accept my apology..

Well , holis is a fun way to relax but i tink i am relaxing too much.. must start the mini project soon with our class games focus plp haha..

2006-03-21T10:13:00.000-08:00

March 22 , Moonlight
Age haf definitely catch up with me... Half sick half dead.. Battling the body of myself.. I finally know the meaning of my true self.. Every thing on earth seems to go haywire.. Must be the reason behind my sickness.. My world is turned upside down the moment sp left me.. alone.
My com started to lag and everything seems to go out of my way.. nothing is useful.. no one.. not even myself.. Things doesn't feel rite for me.. It seems that my body haf overtaken myself to do the things i dun ever want to..
Wthin myself , i feel weak.. i am nothing but an empty shell...

SP finally over!!!!HOLIDAYs

2006-03-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

Poems

2006-03-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

Title : Eternal Life..

The greatest thing that ever happened to me
was to get to know u
the sweet side of u
the cute side of u
the angry side of u
and the beautiful side of u
Is u that make my life happening
with all the dull colours turning bright
that pushes away the dark
u maintain ur smile
to make my heart melt
it makes me sad
to see u hurt
even so i wish u luck
for the eternal happiness of ur life

Title : U , urself..

If there's a past ,
make Ur life a fufilling one
cause in Ur lifetime,
there may nvr be a second chance
to do the things U like,
or to say the words U missed
Just bear in mind that no matter what U do
treasure the friends all around U

Hmm , is my animation good or bad..

2006-03-01T07:35:00.000-08:00

Hmm , Is my animation alrite?

Seriously , i dunno if this is called the best of what i can do to my animation.. My animation seems kind of crappy to me.. I see other plp work , i almost like want to destroy my work.. so lousy..T-T...

STUDIO PROJECT EXTENDED!! WOOT..

yeah! i got more time to do my modelling and my portfolio.. thanks alot to the lecturers.. They understand us so well.. XD more time to slack also..

In the Midst of SP Still Blog

2006-02-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

IN THE MIDST OF STUDIO PROJECT

Omg .. I tink i seem to be mad or either crazy.. but either one i know i am not myself.. How the hell i can still blog when my sp is going on like crazy.. Animation and packaging is enug to kill me yet i still can find time to blog.. Anyway , ever since the start of last week i haf not been having enug sleep and u can guess why i still can blog.. That's rite.. I sleep 3-4hr or not even a wink a day.. first week i already choing like mad liao.. guess u tink i am a mad guy bah... no.. not as harworking as those plp in other classes .. they already haf done their stuffs.. and they are moving on to the packaging.. I wonder why the hell am i slow or do they start faster than me.. I always been doing badly for sp.. still remember last sp was a total failure.. time already up i still have not mount any stuffs.. lol.. must be more hardworking for this sp !!! must be on time..

That's why i choing finish animation in the first week first... but i still feel that i haf not enug time if i continue with this gliberrish.. I must go back to work so catch u'll around...

Dreams or Nightmare?

2006-02-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

Dreams or Nightmare

There always been strange things happening around and this time it happen to me.. I slept at around 5am in the morning .. and that started the weird dream right after i slept..

As first i was in some place.. if i am not wrong , it somehows resembles the resident evil mansion or something.. I saw my friends been killed by the ugly beast and after which i am on the train... Chasing after it..

I order my fren who is controling the train to stop right at the junction and we haf to smash thru the window to go deeper out into the tunnels.. Than we saw a gigantic pyramid or something.. Which in fact i dunno what is at the top but the next moment i saw humans like us but they were all dressed in cloaks .. Weird human being.. But any way when i started climbing with all my frenz , the plp in the cloak follow suit..THey tried to pull me down but i pushed them down to the ground.. at last , a guy in the cloak challenged me . He say if i can pushed that fat lady over there with just one push , he will let me go.. But if i lose , he will haf to use his shotgun to kill me..

I was like , wth.. She so fat and i so skinny how to push her in one go.. So i decided to try by pushing her slowly over the edge and tried to push again when that guy told me i haf failed to push her in one try.. He say he nid to kill me but in the end , i turn over the situation.. I grab hold of him by the neck and ordered my fren to bring me a shotgun.. I say i will be the one killing u~

After which i suddenly woke up.. That guy did or didn't die , i am not very sure.. but all i know is there is something wrong with this dream..

Valentine day

2006-02-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

A Silent , Lonely Nite...

As per normal , i didn't even ask her out or something... Wasn't supposed to be that way .. I was already in the morning planning to buy roses for her but why didn't i buy it.. My mind is in a whirl.. I was thinking of the possible outcomes .. I even wanted to invite her out for a movie.. Why? y did i not do it :( I dunno how i can manage to like her for such a long period which is nearly the whole of year one.. But love is a strange thing.. U gonna go thru it to experience it..

Torture.. Horrendous torture

It was torturous to be living silently , watching her back whenever i see her.. Only to see her go when i arrived .. She turned away whenever possible while i try to look at her whenever possible.. how can this be possible.. I tink i am slowly losing her.. that's patetic..

Valentine Day In SKOOL?!?!

since i dun haf any programs , i decided to stay back for animation.. at least there is some souls there doing animation.. kain ming and chee hui still around.. it was a boring day for me..

Should i force myself to give up ? or not ? i am still thinking ...

2006-02-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

So Long nvr post

Sori to those whu haf been reading my blog . I got a little problem with my schedule.. Haf been having sleepless nite for the past few days trying to rush things out for the better but i guess it will continue ..

Work , Work , Work!! ARGH WHEN WILL THIS END I NID MY LIFE

For weeks , i haf been rushing the storyboard production till i nearly drop dead.. i mean literally.. First we ran into problems.. Final cut pro was suppose to be my job but i seriously not veri good in it..

We change equipment over and over again.. Painting wise well, i dare not say much but we redo the job with colour pencils .. Tough job and tire everyone in my group out.. Haiz wish i could do something for them..

STUDIO PROJECT BRIEFING !!! WTH?!?!

i mean omg .. when i am still in the midst of doing my walk cycle this haf to come out and disrupt my plan.. well , actually i dun mind doing the animation part but what the hell is wrong with them trying to make a package out of this?!? seriously i gonna go broke after studio project.. might be going bankrupt soon:(

Moonlight , STarlight , NO SUNLIGHT!!!

thru this few hectic weeks i finally realise things still can be beautiful if u take a close look at them and admire .. Walking home from skool almost everynite , staring up at the clear sky , the stars seems to be waiting for us.. There is quite alot of stars out in the nite .. It was beautiful , too beautiful for anything.. Moon was nearly full and yes .. cny is coming to an end..

2006-01-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

I just haf this thought today.. Suddenly feel that i should change myself.. To be someone new , to be someone that plp care for.. to be free , to be loved..
Poem title : If only..

If we can only be frenz
My heart will ache
If we only say hi to each other
I would think otherwise
If only i can be as passionate
I wouldn't be left alone
If only time would allow me
I will nvr let u know
that deep in my heart there will nvr be a space
for anyone else
cause the reason is U
If only we can be more than just frenz~

That's a sad side of me.. If u guess it , u r probably right.. Nothing can change the way she feel for me.. Guess it is time for me to haf a major overhaul.. Get rid of my old self and start afresh over again..

2006-01-19T07:48:00.000-08:00

Today is joanne bday and those plp that bought the present come early to wrap the present.. It's Sick and SAdistic i can tell u.. EXp SAmuel and Zach way of wrapping the present.. horrendous man.. U can Tell from the shiny surfaces the whole book got after we haf wrap 5 layers around each book.. Total 5 books..
Hehehe.. Guess how is she going to open the book? No scissors or cutter .. PURE BARE HAND !! Muahaha

Sick as we are we just want to show how much effort we took to tink about giving her the best surprise ever.. She torn till fingers sore but after all that it was quite worth it.. All of them R what she wanted O-o

b4 class i got sneak to peek at my score on teacher's desk.. haiz.. 5.5nia.. oh god.. I tink i will not be able to get into animation*(reasons i no nid to explain ~ figure it lor) though i badly wanted to sia.. but nvm about that .. my drawings are nvr that good anyway and i am not hardworking enug to practise on my drawing.. mabbe i shouln't even see that.. It decreases my morale.. sobT-T

After skool ended , because there is no drawing lecture we waited for the next lecture that is storyboarding . Interesting .. Plp from dif groups are pitching their story on the road crossing .. I expecially like the group 5 style of pitching .. Humourous yet entertaining.. Our group leh? Nah.. Felicia did not go up to represent us.. haiz.. sad sia.. I thought she got enug morale boast from her boyfren..lol..

After lecture ends , everyone go home.. But i choose to stay back to complete my animation box fold .. b4 that the gals went to com lab to print someting while the guys go and book seats at the food junction .. after which all the guys go home le .. left me , clara and amanda to do the animation.. We reach the lift and suddenly clara gave out a loud scream.. lol.. she didn't even notice i was behind all along.. thought i was a ghost or something..

The veri sad thing about animation room is that when we reach we saw joan and joanne coming out cause the class is about to start.. from 6-9.. haiz.. room book next room full so we sadly haf to go home .. On the way home , clara slippers broke and she say goodbye to me and go off with amanda to her house to change her shoes.. but in the end stop at her bustop to change.. guess i wrote too long a post le..tired liao ~TaTa Jameskhoo

2006-01-17T16:17:00.000-08:00

Well , actually this post was meant to be typed out yesterday nite but i was freaking tired thus i drag it till today.. But something happen to me during the nite thus it is okay as i got something to write ..

Yesterday , when i slept i had the most wonderful dream of my life . It's about me and clara.. Dunno why this happen but it appears to be verey vivid in my dreams as if i am really doing that..

It appears that me and clara were in a location which is kind of mysterious. Sorry about the description , I lost alot of the details.. Than I started talking to Clara more than usual like we are really that close . Slowly , I started to stretch out my hand and I actually grab Clara hand . She nvr draw her hand away from me but instead she closes her hand onto mine . Guess she knows what i am tinking at that point of time and she agrees to it..

After the happy ending , immediately my dream was broken when i wake up. Strange dream but it seems to be reading my mind and fufilling what i can do in real world for me..
~must work hard
James.

2006-01-16T04:37:00.000-08:00

Anyone watch caampus superstar? I found that some of them are quite good.. Exp the gals team.. Boys team not that good..:P Btw , here are some of the pic i tink is good.

btw , this two are twins.. They both went into campus superstar but sad thing is the older sis got booted out le .. Overall their voice is good .. Her younger sis look abit too chubby , older sis is much preetier*(just a comment nothing special).

This gal singing is i tink out of everyone voice the most shun ~smoothing one ! and that's all about my blog.. Have to rush my hmwk le .. T-T see u ~James

2006-01-15T07:42:00.000-08:00

Sunday as usual is a hectic day for me.. Exp today cause i got to collect assignments from everyone in my class.. For those whu dunno , yes i am the class ic.. Strange righT? Fancy them vote for me to do all this.. haiz..
But it doesn't matter anyway doesn't it? I kinda feel like when i was in secondary .. Strange same feeling.. Me like to service to other plp and dun expect anything in return .. Mabbe is influence from the uniform group bah..

In fact , I can be quite a lazy person in general though i dun show .. Since semester 2 started , i been quite lost.. yeh.. lost in the midst of everything.. can't even tink properly what to do next ..

reLationShip~WilL it happen
Signing off ~James

2006-01-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

If something feel like an eternal wait it probably is and there is no doubt about it .
No matter what have or has happen , a wait like that should nvr be always bothering you.
Step back and take a look a how wonderfully ur world is being created.
Beautiful things to admire , dearest plp to care for.
Just like the way someone haf invaded ur life.
You want to care for her
You want the best for her
You want to be part of her everyday life
To care for her , Eternally...

Fun day!

2005-12-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

As usual today i went to skool.. But wait!! today is suppose to be skool free day!! wth sia , nid to go back to skool to do animation.. Tinking of that i feel veri slouchy already.. :( Seaweed Pendulum Traveling line.. omg.. when am i going to finish all that.. The fun part is actually when i capture my seaweed animation!! Screwed up i can say.. The seaweed was dancing man.. I dunno what i did to my animation to make it wave like that man.. Dun ask me.. Mabbe it's just fated to be that way since everyone enjoyed it..:P
Guess today was abit of fun and joy even though going to skool sucks ..:)

Christmas present....

2005-12-22T08:43:00.000-08:00

hmm , yesterday i went with sam , joan and sabrina to far east plaza.. motive was pretty obvious.. that was to buy christmas presents.. It was fun though tiring.. We have alot of laughter exp with sabrina and joan around..:P It was nice of them to help me find something suitable for clara.. well , they make fun of me during the whole process and u wouldn't want to know what they want me to get for clara.. I wouldn't reveal what the present is about cause clara says she will open it during christmas .. so , i have to wait patiently.. I reali do hope she likes what i give her.. oh , btw i am i a huge debt now.. by{peniless ic}

Am I lost or what?

2005-12-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Hi guys , I am back again.. T-T there is a major stoppage of my blog since my birthday .. Truly sori to those whu visited my blog hoping to see more post up here.. Indeed , a year is coming to an end and i haven't woke up yet.. Strange yet scary.. My heart is telling me to walk away from the comfort zone but yet my body seems to sink deeper into it.. Even my parents can't talk me around.. 18 years old and still dun know how to tink properly .. I tink i am a BaDbOy .. now for the updates so far till now.. be prepare for a long story ahead.. if u dun wanna continue looking it is okay.. cause it is meant for those whu care :P My family is in a utterly mess . Screwed . I nvr b4 felt so sori for myself b4. this is a short story about what happen to my family a few month ago.. my elder sis have some bad company , veri sad case .. even i dun know why she wanna do that.. she mix up with the wrong group of plp .. in the end started smoking.. parents scolded her but she give them attitude and even scolded back.. [my poor parents] she smoke , steal .. pratically becoming what is of a ah lian.. stay out late is a major prob later on .. She even stay out overnite without informing any of us .. she needs to be taught a lesson!. That day finally come .. She got caught by the police and my parents went to bail her out..
Guess what.. i nvr imagine that my family would haf a drama so sad like this.. she was caught for taking drugs..... first ting crossed my mind.. i thought that kind of thing onli happen in chinese drama.. nvr knew that the worse things could actually happen to my family.. she denied that she took when my parent ask her.. She say it after my parents nagged at her.. but she say she will be fine cause the drugs she took is not recently de .. I mean wth lor , she took liao still say this kind of thing .. soon the report of the urine test was out.. She was positive of having taken drugs.. She was sent to the rehab centre in changi.. This few month.. no one fight over com with me.. i feel kind of lonely .. even now as i am typing the blog , i kind of feel sori for my sis.. ever since she got caught and jailed.. i nvr even visited her once.. not even once.. I dun know how am i going to face her when she come back.. i might be tongue tied .. speechless .. no sure of what to say.. I guess my blog is too long .. so see ya .. Tada :P

My birthday.

2005-09-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

Actually I think alot of things have happen to me over the past few months expecially whe i have met frenz like DMD0502 that entirely change my life.
Since i just started the blog , now abit confused to what to write.. I will start from the things that happen to me on my birthday which is about to come to a close once I have finish doing this blog. Today although was my birthday , I dun feel good at all cause i haf test in the afternoon.. Early in the morning was the start of the studio project. It was fun listening though. After which i went to the arcade with the guys and haf to come back on my own cause jayson and amos left early :( Test was so screw lah.. Nothing that i can remember that was a good answer but anyway let's talk about the time b4 I went into the test.. The guys want me to play a birthday game.. So i thought nothing special i guess.. but .. They play ZONG JI MI MA .. I was quite lucky bah.. manage to evade quite a few times.. that was until clara and amanda they all came.. After a few rounds with amanda , sabrina , joan , joanne , jayson , zach , samuel , amos and wilson , we decided to change the direction. Amanda was damn suay cause she tio at least twice when she just join the game. After which clara also came in and played.. She give the number and it became smaller when i came to wilson.. Amos didn't tio the number.. I did.. (that's was suppose to be part of their plan???) .. Well , joan ask a very interesting question... Do i have any current crushes now.. well , i did leak out whu it is .. so i guess i will give it a miss here.. those whu dun know the detail guess bah.. It was veri the screw lor.. First time in front of nearly more than 50 % of the classmate talk about this kind of thing.. obvioously i just give a hint but it was too obvious... i tink i wrote this blog too long liao .. kk i gtg already ..~Jameskhoo~

First Day of blog

2005-09-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Having just started a blog , I hope that anyone that can give comment to me pls feel free to do so.